Duke Nukem Forever

There are some games that I buy that are just plain intimidating to get started on. Whether they sound extremely boring, frustratingly broken, or needlessly complex, many titles just have a way of warding me off for months (okay, more like years) upon purchase. However, Duke Nukem Forever never really had that effect on me. Despite the terrible reviews, I truly believed that this would be a game that I could play through without too much trouble. I guess I was right about that on some level, since I did beat it in about a day. But did I enjoy my time spent with the Duke?

The answer to that question is a resounding "Meh."
Technically speaking, the game works. Playing through it is pretty simple. For the first hour or two, I might even say I had fun with it. Granted, there is absolutely nothing innovative about this game. The graphics are dated. The gameplay is dated. Even the jokes are dated, parodying aspects of gaming that aren't really in the spotlight anymore these days. As a generic shooter, the game works.

So just what exactly is so wrong with this game?

This all boils down to one simple fact: The game just isn't complete.
For all the time Duke spent in development hell, a seeming patchwork of levels and ideas is all they were able to come up with. This is most noticeable when it comes to the level transitions and pacing, especially in the later stages of the game. There is a desert section that particularly sticks out in my mind as just being random, drawn-out, and boring. This is filler. Maybe some people are okay with having their games padded with length to feel like they get more bang for their buck, but I could do without boring patchwork garbage thrown into my games seemingly just because it exists. Not to mention there are unnecessary driving sections which offer absolutely nothing positive to the experience. I am all for having some variety in games, but if developers aren't going to put much effort into the tacked-on features, I would just as soon do without them. The driving in this game is one of those features I would gladly do without. In my mind, ideally, a finished game should be composed of the good stuff people churned out during development and refined into a cohesive, polished experience. This game, however, is the equivalent of a crummy rough draft. But if they were to trim the fat, there wouldn't really be much of a game left. So they just released what they had, somewhat of a patchwork abomination. I stand by my statement that this game is simply not complete.

Long story short, Duke Nukem Forever is a mediocre shooter which drags on for far longer than anyone could possibly hope. Oh, and the "jokes" aren't going to be funny to anyone older than about 12 or so.

Duke Nukem Forever is a game that never should have been. If it was up to me, I would gladly send this game back into development where it would flounder around for all eternity. The legacy of Duke has forever been tarnished with the release of this game.