Spirit Tracks

This should go without saying, but Spirit Tracks is one of the worst games I've ever played. It's easily the worst game in the Legend of Zelda series. From the moment I got on that frickin' train, I knew that from that point forward I would be miserable. Zelda's spirit is stolen from her body. But before that, she enlists Link's help in figuring out why the tracks are disappearing. Each successful trip through the dungeons restores the tracks, but you have to make it through the horribly long temples to do so. You do all of this work and it never feels satisfying. Blah, blah, blah, you go through all this stuff, boss battles, and then SPOILER ALERT Zelda's spirit returns to her body and Link saves the day.

There are so many things to cover with Spirit Tracks. It starts on a choo-choo train. Don't get me wrong, trains are great. They transport stuff, their sound has become something I've grown accustomed to falling asleep listening to, and they're still vital to our country. Patriotism aside, what in the world were game makers thinking? Sure, it caters to a younger demographic to get them involved, but what about the rest of us? Look, I'll be the first to admit I still enjoy childish activities. I'm a grown woman, and obviously I'm not even afraid to admit that I played this game. That being said, why a train? Just why?

There were plenty of other things about this game that made me want to chuck it from the second story. I was BORED. The game had no end in sight. By the time I was on my way to the last temple, I said forget it and shelved it along with all the others. The LoZ series is great. They had a few things here and there that weren't as successful, but generally the games didn't leave me with an overwhelming sense of frustration. Anyway, back to the towers. There were like a million of them! Every time I thought I was getting close, I had another tower to go visit. And it took a considerable amount of time to travel there. The other trains that tried to run you off the track made me a nervous wreck. The only thing I enjoyed was trying to catch those rabbits that you passed, but they were avoiding capture half the time.

I ask myself this a lot, "So what?" What makes this game so great? Why did I go out and buy this game? If it's like BioShock, it's because I cried my eyes out and felt better about myself as a human being (I wasn't an Adam hungry crazy person). I don't have a reason why I bought this game other than I thought it would be good. Phantom Hourglass was incredible. It was challenging, interesting, and knew when to stop. This game never stopped. I'm not entirely sure what they were going for here. The storyline was okay. The gameplay was okay. This game was nothing more than a filler. It served no purpose other than wasting my time as a gamer.

Why is this game so horribly complicated and dull? Well, I think it's because it's geared towards a younger audience. For the most part, kids aren't paying attention to super complex storylines. They want gimmicky items that make them feel like they're doing something, when in all actuality, they're not doing a thing. But why make a complicated game for children? Who knows. There are so many elements to this game that don't make any sense to me. It's just awful. There aren't even things I want to touch on that were good about the game. I think that it ended. Yeah, I'll go with that.